This is what I envision for the remake of the events – I’m sure you can handle it easily.
Opening scene, from my point of view, starts in “Me” and I’m chilling with my fans, make my exit, and then I reach for the exit control in my home VR. A brief flash of light and then black – hold for 10 seconds, with music – get Pietro – this has got to be good.
Defuse light, slightly blury for the next scene. Again from my point of view. I’m in those tubular tanks I’ve talked to you about, suspended by goo like a multiracial VR suite. I’m being moved past other tanks, down a dimly lit hallway. There needs to be a hint of the Kaa here, but not so much you know they are behind this yet. A door opens, and there is the lab – with all sorts of medical stuff, and a set of blades laid out weighting. The top of the tank is removed, and this spider creature reaches down in. Fade to black. I need an log book, with a log entry. “Surgery and therapy on Engai subject 4.” Now back to the start of the scene again – same view of getting moved past tanks, down the hall, into the lab. Same fade to black, now the log entry with the same entry, but weeks later. And then another, and another, rapidly down, with the weeks spanning the 10 months I was incommunicado.
Full shot of the tank room, and there are 5 of these tanks, with something in each – just blurs. There is a jarring thud, and the tanks wobble. One of the blurs in a tank starts to thrash about, the tank wobbles, and falls over. Amazing crash, with goo everywhere – I want that seen from the floor point of view. An Engai female, no male. Or darn it female struggles up out of the goo, and struggles up to a tank and removes the lid. This one obviously has a Purulu inside, pressing against the lid. It climbs out of the tank, then makes its way across the room to another tank, and the Engai goes to another tank. The Engai releases a Treefolk – oh we could use Elm – very good for this part. And the Purulu opens another tank to let me out. I know this is going to look bad if I show up all covered with goo in the first scene – I’m sure the critics will need to get briefed that this is true to life, and my fans are going to be in horror, with sympathetic, or even empathetic feelings. Have Harvey work on the spin here. I don’t want this shot of me to be in the previews.
Distant blaster fire, as a Cidi is plucked from the last goo tank. Yes, it would be a more dramatic if I was the last one rescued, but again, this is a documentary – it is more believable if I’m not the last one. Introductions are made – The other Engai is the Magnificent Q, Alder the Treefolk, Lazarus the Cidi (jittery, very fast. May want to use CGI here.), Happy the Purulu, and me with my line. Yes, I know Purulu can’t leave water. This one can. What part of “Surgery and therapy” didn’t you understand?
We start to go down the hallway, with me half support the limping Engai. The sounds of battle are closer now. We come to the door to the lab, but then a tight focus on a biometric lock. Fade out the music.
We look through a window down into a cargo hold, and see Kaaa and the monstrous evil spider-man doctor fighting Humans and Kronin. Oh, make sure the Kronin don’t have any sharp, distinguishable uniforms. They might get testy about their role here, and we want to show the audience this wasn’t the upstanding citizens of their race, but a band of pirates. The two Engai look at each other. Other than the sounds of battle, I want no music or dialog, but that certain knowing nod from me.
The next scene should be the severed arm of the spider-thing getting pressed down on the biometric lock, and it clicking open.
With wimpy but shiny scalpels in hand, the band of 5 descends via a cargo elevator the 2nd floor, I want united music swelling up here. The sounds of battle are dying down, but a few shots back and forth would be good. The hallway on the second floor is littered with dead pirates and Kaaa. Dropping the scalpels, snatching up blaster pistols, I sprinted to cargo hold, avoided two shots from the Kaaa, and then drilled him with a perfect shot.I shouted out to the remaining Kronin that the Kaaa was dead, and stood in the doorway with gun raised, The Kronin pops up from behind the crates, and shoots me. I,collapse to the floor. Q zipped forward into the maze of crates, and I distracted the Kronin by screaming, and then singing. We use my aria from “Loss and Life of the Baali War” – just enough of it that the fans will know that I’m in pain and going to live.
Lazarus stood on my wound to stem the floor of blood. Alder brushed a frond over me, healed me up, with just a touch. I want a tight camera on my face as I go from painful singing, to relieved signing. Pietro will make the music that makes this happen. Mag Q, surprises the Kronin, and shoots him dead. And shoots him again. “One for shooting at me, and another for shooting my friend.”
I stopped singing at this point, and Mag Q swapped out -his-her pistol for a carbine. There is still the distant sounds of fighting, and the team heads toward it. Excellent place to end this short. We pick up the next one from here, after the recap scenes.